Most people do not listen to understand; they listen to reply.
Most people do not listen to understand; they listen to reply. This is devastating in a marriage.When your spouse is expressing frustration, practicing active listening means giving them your absolute, undivided attention. Put the phone down. Do not interrupt to defend yourself. When they finish, summarize what they said: 'What I am hearing is that you feel overwhelmed when I leave dishes in the sink.'
This simple act of validation diffuses anger faster than anything else. Only after they feel entirely heard should you offer your perspective or solutions.
